Being Wrong, the path to finding and exercising creativity

So I joined in on a doll quilt swap. I am not a quilter. Let me just say that again, I am not a quilter. This is becoming clearer. As I look around the net, there are so many  amazing quilts -I love quilts, but realistically, I don’t think I can sew those really cool ones. Quilting is a huge process. It’s overwhelming, really.  Are they mocking me? [the quilts, I mean, not the quilters.] It’s not as easy to make these quilts as quilters make it seem. For one thing, when I look at fabric, I see what it can become, but it’s never a quilt. It’s always a skirt, a doll dress, or a handbag of some sort. My eyes and my mind see clothes… or sometimes an accessory. But mostly clothes. I have been this way my whole life, I suppose.

Whenever I tried to start a quilt–did I mention I absolutely love quilts?, I just keep pulling fabric after fabric from my stash. Placing them next to each other, creating nice couples along the way or sometimes even a pattern. Covering every possible linear surface in the room, I contemplate and wonder. Sometimes I get distracted by their beauty. But I never commit. Never cut into. I usually fold it all up, or wad it up, depending on the mood or time of day, and save the decisions for another day. I just can’t see how it will come together as an actual quilt.

I have made several different  bags with many colored fabrics. Here’s one– it’s pieced together like a quilt.

And there is my one and only quilt. I limited it to 3 fabrics, because I just couldn’t decide or see “it”  for what it might become.

And clothes, well actually my daughter chose the fabrics on this one. I kept saying, “Are you sure? That one?”

My daughter has the eye of a quilter. She has made 2 small quilts already. I tried to help her choose fabrics, but I proved to be very feeble and useless to her. She knew what she was doing, or at least she had a vision. I would suggest and she would say, “no, that’s not quite right.” I would be helpful, not controlling and impatient, and bring home fabric for her to use. Those fabrics would just become a compliment to my ever-growing fabric collection.

That girl of 11 years won first prize in a local quilt fair with the fabrics which I did not choose, and that quilt went on to the State Fair. Okay. She has a quilter’s eye for fabric and I should allow her space to create…why was it so hard for me to be patient with her creative process. After all, I’ve spent hours moving and shifting fabrics around to find quilty magic goodness, and not ever sewing a quilt. I guess I just like to play with my fabric, much like a child plays with her food.

Then there’s the other component, the execution of the quilt.

When I was selling my wares at Saturday Markets and Street Fairs, I would have quilters commenting about how lovely and well sewn my clothes and accessories were. And how they could never do that. I would smile, and in appreciation of their support, thank them for their thoughtful compliment.  And feeling humbled, I would offer, “Oh, I’m sure you could.” After attempting some half square triangles, just to see how it all works, I completely understand now how those quilters felt. Right back at you 😉 I think I should stick to squares and rectangles. For now.

When we try something new, we gain a different perspective. A new perspective that evolves from old ones and the new experience.  We make mistakes that allow us to grow and we learn something new about ourselves. We need to be okay with making mistakes. If we aren’t making mistakes, that means we aren’t ever trying anything new. I watch Ted talks all the time (love them. they are the only “reality shows” I ever watch. ever.) and recently watched several given by Sir Ken Robinson. He said something provocative…”If you’re not prepared to be wrong, you will never come up with anything original.”

I think I’m going to quilt. Actually cut the fabric and actually sew it together, in a quilting sort of way. I’m sure I will be wrong much of the time, and perhaps embarrassed or even regretful, but I feel the need to keep at it. I probably won’t be a great quilter, like those who write amazing blogs about their quilts, those seemingly effortless quilts, but I want to be okay with the lack of perfection and the mistakes that I will undoubtedly make.  I may cry or occasionally have strong, unpleasant words for my quilt projects, but at least I will be making a journey and moving forward, instead of staying put, in my comfortable clothing-making zone.

Wish me luck 🙂